i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
