I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
