I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
