Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
