Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
