You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Drunk is not a location!
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
