Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
