There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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