i wish there were pregnant emoticons
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
