member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
