Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
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