just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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