My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
