nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
