ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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