I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
