One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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