I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
