I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
