tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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