2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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