??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize