Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
