Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
is wine microwaveable?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
We need to get me chipped asap
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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