i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize