Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
