I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
