Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
