East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I'm jealous of your bromance
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
