so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
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