i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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