I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
You can't special order awesome
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
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he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
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The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize