So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize