I think im going to throw up on grandma
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
you win again, gameday.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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