there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
