Someone shit on the floor
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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