I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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