I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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