Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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