Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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