R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I can tuck mytits in my pants
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
