South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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