theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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