Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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