I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
