I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
