jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
