She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
