We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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