you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i love accidental penises.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
