____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Welp...herpes.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
