Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
