I bet he comes in French.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
