I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
