I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
