Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
