he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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