You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Damn victory sex feels great
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
