hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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